purely painful

Since March has arrived it’s time for me to begin my yearly ritual of preparing for bathing suit season by getting back into shape. Each year there’s a new exercise regiment and diet that lasts about a week until I get lazy and hungry. This year I decided to go with a fairly new and trendy workout called Pure Barre. It’s a combination of yoga, pilates and ballet. Actually, there is no ballet involved whatsoever besides the fact that you hold onto a bar for balance, so that last part is BS and very disappointing. The reason I bought the damn DVD is because I wanted an exercise that involved elements of dance.

Regardless of the false advertisement, it was a great work out. I did it for the first time last night as I begrudgingly put on my exercise appropriate attire, grabbed my yoga mat and put down my Pinot. If you haven’t sensed it from my tone yet, I’m not a big fan of exercise. I used to be in great shape when I was a cheerleader in high school (haha, I know, so funny) but since my high kicking, toe touching days, I just haven’t been as active. I know this is just going to solidify all stereotypes about cheerleading, but I’m not quite what you would call an athlete. I’ve always been a dancer but put a ball in front of me and I’m lost; just ask anyone who’s ever taken PE with me. I enjoy sports from the perspective of the sidelines. But, I will say that cheer is a pretty bad ass sport (or “sport” for those of you who haven’t come to terms with reality). I can’t tell you how many injuries I accrued throughout high school from stunting and I had some serious unlicensed guns . But I digress, back to Pure Barre.

If my thighs could have made an audible sound it would that of a screeching cat that’s stuck in a bathtub with no way out while getting declawed. Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration; I’m not that out of shape. It was probably more like an annoying whimper. Either way, it freaking hurt. My legs were shaking and my ass couldn’t clench anymore regardless of what the bitch on the DVD said. But, all in all it was enjoyable and something I will probably keep up with. Although I feel utterly deceived about the presence of ballet, I’m going to trust that they are telling me the truth about the outcome of my participation. I’m actually elated about this new purchase and look forward to doing it and the new firmer me that will be the result.