newport's ugly face

I live near picturesque Newport Beach where the sun is shining, the water is glistening and the douches are rampant. Full of beautifully fashionable people with perfectly suntanned bodies and quaffed hair, it's enough to make you throw up in your mouth. (Side note: I don't hate beauty or fashion, I just get sick when it's so contrived.) Two things have recently brought this to my attention more than it already was.

1. A photo album was posted on Facebook by a group in Newport called ShoresCrew. I have no idea what these people do aside from drinking too much, putting OZ's of white girl up their nose, inevitably vomiting or pissing on themselves and documenting it all along the way. I seriously don't know if this is a clothing company or any of them have jobs, I only know that they got in trouble a while back for posting some compromising pictures of girls on their website and that they run wild throughout Newport's bar scene. They're all good looking, both girls and guys, and they're hip to all the trends so right now they're a proper mix of surf meets hipster which is really just a lot of skinny jeans and bright colors. Oh, and they sport mustaches and flannels which completely throws off my radar because I used to think that was the indication a person I could actually talk to. A year or two ago, yes. Now, it just means you've walked into Urban Outfitters in the past six months. (Superficial, maybe, but we all have our thing.)

2. My roommate and I took a trip down to Carlsbad to hang out with my brother. He and his band of misfit friends are all tatted up with long hair, facial artwork, grungy clothes and appropriate music interests and skill level. I love hanging out with his friends because I feel like I fit in with them considering I share the same interests as they do. The best part about them is that they don't take themselves too seriously and they're always having a good time with each other. If you just looked at them you might think that they fit in with the Newport crowd but the difference is that their style is their own and they don't do it to be pretty and trendy; that's just who they are. Anyway, we went to a bar there called Hennessey's and both Lara and I were taken aback when we didn't see the kind of people we expected; Newport look-a-likes. It was almost as if we forgot what people looked like in other parts of the world, even 45 minutes south to us, and realized that not everyone looks like they belong in a magazine. It was a harsh reality that I actually felt embarrassed about. Had I become that short sighted?

Here's the thing; I actually really like living in Orange County and am able to see beyond the money and how vapid it can be. It's much like anywhere else that there's affluence. People hate on it here but I'm from San Diego where people in Del Mar aren't much better; they're just older which sometimes makes it more sad. I know I've bitched and complained about Newport before and those that populate it so I feel a bit like a broken record. Or hypocritical even because I too care about fashion and culture, but I've certainly reevaluated where I spend my time, money and who surrounds me.

I appreciate Orange County, particularly Costa Mesa, for it's eclecticism and subversiveness which allows me to eat at my favorite vegan restaurant and go to Detroit and check out bands and write for an online music magazine. I truly do believe that living in Orange County has shaped who I'm going to be professionally and had helped me figure out who I am, particularly what and who I like and don't like.

And, at the very least, these folks that I continue to bag on will add endless amounts of entertainment to my life.

a thorn in my side

I know this post is about a week later than I expected but oh well, deal with it. No one reads this drivel anyway.

I was watching the season finale of American Idol (I’m a sucker- don’t shoot me) and all I kept thinking was “What the hell is this?!” It’s clear that Fox has an outrageously overstuffed wallet and those are the guests they get? Give me a break. I didn’t even recognize half of the guest performers who I can’t mention because I still don’t know who they are. But, there is one performer who came out to sing with Lee that stuck out to me. Not because it was particularly shocking to see him on my television or on American Idol but because it seems I can’t turn on my TV WITHOUT seeing him. This man is the one and only Bret Michaels.

What reality show doesn’t that guy led his bandanna-clad face to? I mean he was just the winner of the Apprentice and was all over the news because of his recent surgery. But I really wanted to say, “Hey Bret, you can’t actually win this show because you’re just a guest but if you’re lucky maybe you can bang one of the chicks wearing hooker make-up. Isn’t that why you’re famous?”

But if playing house with a bunch of washed up haggy looking strippers and playing nice in front of The Don wasn’t enough, he’s got another new show called “Bret Michaels Life as I Know It.” This is the intimate portrayal of Bret with his girlfriend and son. Seriously though, who cares? Unless there are a gaggle of angry white trash women pulling out each other’s weaves, I’m not watching it. Well, I’d probably skip it either way but at least that former gave you the queen of hot tranny messes, Daisy. What’s this show going to give us? A look into the life of a guy who used to be a famous rock star but instead of selling out arenas he’s showing everyone watching from their comfy couches at home that it’s cool for 47 year old dudes to rock a head scarf and man-liner? NO THANK YOU.

He actually seems like a very nice individual from what I have gathered from all of these aforementioned appearances which is probably why people want to see more of him. But this is just one of the many problems with people in general and that my friends, is going to have to be left for another post.


Ps. Goodbye Simon. You were the only viable judge on that show and now it must die. Please don’t keep your man boobs and perfectly quaffed hair far for too long.